Zaborowski Family

Infertility brought us to adoption, and adoption brought us to fostering. An open, healthy relationship with our adopted son's first family introduced us to the world of foster care and made us realize that we could make a real impact. Once our eyes were opened to the need right in our backyard, it was hard not to sign up to help our community however we could.

Though we approached our fostering journey with excitement and love, we also expected to be challenged. We thought fostering would be hard and rewarding, and ultimately it was much harder and much more rewarding that we thought. We had to ask ourselves tough questions: Could we provide temporary care? Could we love a child like our own, only for them to ultimately find permanency with another family? In particular, we were afraid of getting too attached. However, we quickly learned that this is exactly what we were supposed to do - get attached. Our foster son needed us to love him fully and unconditionally, whether he was with us for a week, a month, a year, or forever. That's what he deserved, and what our community deserved.

One of the more significant challenges we faced was managing behaviors that stemmed from trauma. We addressed this by receiving training from our county, with a particular focus on managing and deeply understanding our foster child's emotions and past experiences. Our local DSS office helped to secure daycare and therapy for our foster son, which proved extremely beneficial.

We also learned to have patience, which is difficult some days in foster care. We had to not only advocate for our foster son's needs, but be patient with the system as they carefully peeled back the layers of a family in need. Our local DSS felt accessible whenever we needed them. If our social worker wasn't available, the supervisor or another worker was able to help. The greatest support, by far, was the foster parent support group that our agency provided monthly - here, we got to know the other foster families in the county and offer support to one another.

Exploring foster care was a series of "yeses." Can we go through the foster parent training process? Yes! Can we parent and love a child that's not biologically ours? Yes! Can we love and support their birth family, too, in the process? Yes!

Foster care naturally comes from a place of sadness and loss. Reunification, not adoption, is the first objective. However, after fostering our child for two years, his placement plan goal was changed to adoption. DSS asked if we would adopt him, and of course we said yes. He was so much a part of our family that we couldn't imagine him with a stranger.

His great grandmother was at the adoption finalization. We had always maintained a healthy relationship with his first family, and his great grandmother was a strong advocate in his life. She was at the table in front of the judge when he legally and permanently became our son, and we remain so grateful for her relationship and support.

- Autumn and Jim Zaborowski

Learn about becoming a foster parent

Speak to a foster care specialist at 1-888-2Foster