Dysterhouse Family

I have always wanted to foster, but my husband served 32 years of active duty with the Navy and with work travel the timing never felt right. After he retired we finally felt we were ready to start this journey. Our goal going into it was to provide a home for siblings to be able to stay together. In our four years as foster parents we have had 14 placements, both siblings and individual kids. All of them have been amazingly resilient.

The most rewarding part of fostering is coming alongside a family that just needs a reset and offering to help with the children while the parents get the assistance they need to regroup.

For those considering fostering, my advice is to show the biological family grace. You haven't walked in their shoes, and you don't know what led them to where they are. Be kind, and help the family to understand you are on their team - that you are not the competition.

That's why our greatest success as foster parents has been supporting reunification. It is a beautiful thing seeing a parent work so hard to get all those boxes checked and finally reach their day in court when they show the judge they are ready to have their kids back.

To help our foster children stay connected with their families, we would laminate pictures of their family and put them in their cribs or place them by their high chairs so they could see their loved ones every day. Even if they didn't have visitation on a particular day, we would talk about their family.

Once a child reunites with their biological family, I look forward to the first day of school. It's always my favorite time because my phone buzzes all morning with first day of school pictures from their family.

Being a foster parent is a roller coaster ride. You learn to expect the unexpected. Cases never go as planned, and you just need to be flexible and to provide support whenever and however it's needed. Having a solid team to help when you get new placements is key.

Finally, it's critical to ensure you're taking time to keep your biological family unit in a good place. Make sure your kids are being heard, and that your spouse is feeling supported.

It goes back to the oxygen mask on the airplane analogy; you can't help others if you're not helping yourself.

- Rick and Robin Dysterhouse