Shonka Family

I will never forget walking out of the hospital four years ago, holding an infant carrier with a premature baby girl fast asleep in it - our very first foster care placement. The feelings of fear, anticipation, and gratefulness to be able to help were all swirling around in my head. This year, our family welcomed our fourth placement, and the feelings from that first day outside the hospital have remained the same.

Our foster care journey began when our youngest of four was 3 years old and my husband and I began a foster parent training course through Community Attention Foster Families in Charlottesville, Virginia. I am a stay-at-home mom and we have space in our home for another child, so we open our home to children in our community who need a safe place. Our family values every life and deeply believes that everyone deserves a second chance. We have found great joy not only in providing a home for our four foster children, but also in embracing their families as they seek help and work to bring health to their family.

One of our placements, a 2-year-old little boy, lived with us for 14 months. He was reunited with his family about two years ago. After the judge granted reunification, the biological dad turned to me and said, "We did it!" It was a gift to us to be able to provide a loving home for our foster son while being able to cheer on his dad as he worked tirelessly to bring his family back together. We were a team working together with the end goal of reunifying the children with their families. My husband and I try to openly communicate to our foster children's parents that we are not seeking to adopt their child, or be better parents to them; instead, we are caring for their child until their family can be made whole again. The reality is that, in this world, we all struggle and need support. We have been so grateful to walk alongside these families to work together for the sake of a safer, more secure life for the children.

Every new placement brings out fear and anticipation. At the beginning, you ask yourself, "What will this situation be like? How will the parents view our role in this? What challenges will we face? What is the child like? How will this affect my family?" I started out fostering as a means of helping children in need, but I have learned just how important it is to put myself in the biological parents' shoes. Assuring them that their child is safe with us until they can return home is important to me. After our foster children have been reunified with their family, the only feeling that remains with me is gratitude. I am grateful to have helped. I am grateful to have been a part of the healing and a part of the journey to bringing children safely back home, where they are meant to be.

- Katy & David Shonka