Bailey Family

We are a family of four that chose to pursue fostering and take on some uncomfortability in an effort to live a more purpose-driven life and help our community. A motto in our home is "we are blessed to be a blessing," and in alignment with our Christian values, we needed to look for ways to bless others.

A cornerstone of developing a deep connection with our current foster daughter has been how we treat the relationship with her biological father. We work hard to involve him as we consider him a co-parent. We communicate back and forth on parenting strategies that have been effective since his daughter has been in our home. We also take and share pictures, offer praises about his daughter's wins and accomplishments, and ask his perspective on things.

We are proud of the relationship we have built. Much of this is because of the father's personal progress and positive attitude towards us. We are thankful for the "team" atmosphere we've all created through this partnership together.

In doing so, we have also earned our foster daughter's love and trust; trust that we aren't going anywhere; no matter what she does, she's loved the same. She also knows we do what we say and say what we mean, and that there isn't anything to be scared of in our home. Her father has even commented on how she now has her positive, funny, silly personality back. Seeing this child shine and flourish has been a huge encouragement that we are supporting her in the ways that she needs during this period of her life.

Advice we'd offer to anyone considering becoming a foster parent is to be open to the fact that typical parenting strategies may not work for children in foster care. You will hear about it in training, but these kids have been through more than a lot of us will ever endure in our lifetimes. As a result, they more than likely haven't learned appropriate ways of dealing with trauma. It's very important to consider their history. In addition, surround yourselves with mentors. There are many times we bounce parenting strategies for specific situations against our mentor group. We couldn't imagine trying to do this work alone. Finally, don't be afraid to "tap out" when you need to and have your spouse step in or just take a night for respite. We weren't meant to carry loads alone.

- Warren and Emily Bailey